timlambesis

I'VE MOVED

2011-10-27T12:46:00.000-07:00

I've moved my blog over to http://timlambesis.tumblr.com/

Allegiance seems misunderstood

2010-08-31T16:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry that it's been over a year since my last blog post. I plan to get back into it starting now.

Last week I made a post on my band's Facebook site to spread the word about a startup orphanage I had visited during my last stay in Ethiopia. Surprisingly, that post caused some controversy because there are a number of people who feel I should instead be putting my efforts into helping my own country. I can only assume these comments come from people who pledge their allegiance solely to America. I've said and done a lot of stupid things in my life before I fully understood an issue, so I'd like to give those who made these ignorant comments on my Facebook post the benefit of the doubt while doing my best to shed some light upon this topic.

While some believe there may be some reasonable grounds to justify pledging allegiance to one's country, I also think that those willing to pledge allegiance to the USA can only seriously do so if they're also allowed to pledge allegiance to their families and friends. There is not a magical line in the earth somewhere that says our allegiance must solely remain on the grounds to which we were born. Additionally, I know very few people who do not have at least one distant family member of friend from another country. I'm not trying to get into a new topic, but doesn't that logically necessitate questioning which demands the greatest allegiance between family, friends, and country.

I personally pledge allegiance to no one. Though, this does not mean that I don't have a tremendous amount of respect and gratitude for my country. For most people with any type of religious belief, the lines of family and empire are blurred. Specifically for me as a Christian, I believe God desires for all of the world to be in his family, and those in his family belong to God's kingdom before any man made empire. For those who disagree with the very concept of God, it still becomes difficult to close out one human being from basic aid or human affection because the reality is that we are 99.99% the same people on a genetic level even for those not in our biological families.

I want to help all Americans suffering oppression. I want to help all Ethiopian children lonely and starving in devastating poverty because their parents died from common preventable diseases. More than either of these things, I want to help ANYONE ANYWHERE that I can while knowing that the time and resources I've been given will responsibly be put to use. Naturally, we're most capable of helping those whom we've come into contact with. As of this moment in time, what stands out to me is that I've come across a tremendous amount of need in the area where my son comes from in Ethiopia. I'm sure there is equally as great of a need in other places, but at this point in time I am responsible for what I know is certain. I have yet to across these places in the USA with a similar urgent need and I'm not sure if ever will unless one of you out there takes my hand and guides me into the hidden or forgotten parts of our country. In my last post I was simply trying to make the point that there is at least one location I can recommend to anyone that I know with full confidence their money will be responsibly put to excellent use. There are plenty of charity scams out there, so if you've personally visited a similar place and know for certain where the money is going, then you should be spreading the word about that place instead of going out of your way to tell fans of As I Lay Dying that they should be helping their own country without given them even the vaguest direction.

How I wish I lived...

2009-08-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that I tend to allow myself to live right on the fence when it comes to my convictions. Sometimes, that is because I haven't formed a complete opinion about some of the small stuff, but most of the time it's because I don't stand firm enough on the things I do know for sure.

I'm impressed when I see someone walk the line, but I don't pity them when I see them fall. I commend someone who is willing to fight a lion with his bare hands, but when it comes to protecting my family, I'll probably shoot from a mile away.

Isn't that how people with honor should live though? To do what is best for the ones they love while they deny themselves. Being a dad makes me realize that being on the fence about the way I live only really works out for me, even if I don't fall. Honor and pride are quite opposite in this context.

Here's an interesting quote (at least I think so)...

"Show me what you've done by yourself, and I will show you the greater things I've gained in finding help for my shortcomings."

Blessings vs burdens... my prayer this morning

2009-05-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

God, you are amazing and perfect in all ways. I am ashamed for the times that I think I know better than you. Please forgive me of my pride and selfishness. Please lead me to find forgiveness from those I have hurt.

I desire to be part of Your kingdom here on earth and not just wait around for death. You have given me so many blessings in the form of the people you have surrounded me with. On the other hand, with my physical blessings, it is hard for me to know what is beautiful and what is actually a curse. I desire to live simply and share the financial blessings you have given me before I get too used to seeing them. Once familiarity sets in, it is much like a disguise, and I am unable to differentiate the blessings from the burdens.

Examples related to my last post...

2009-03-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Here are two examples of people who have taken powerful action as a result of what they believe. They, like me, would probably feel pretty uncomfortable being lumped in with most fundamentalist Christians, but it is safe to say they are moved by a fundamental belief that Jesus' commands to His followers are to be taken very seriously since He is the One true God.

1) I've been very inspired by George Muller who gave up any form or salary whatsoever and refused to solicit people for funds, yet somehow (miraculously?) he was able to care for 10,024 orphans before he died. He truly gave up everything we would consider worthwhile to gain so much more.

Reading George Muller's biography has really influenced the way I want to live. You can read shorter excepts about his life by just looking him up on Wikipedia or google.

2) In the case of Tom Davis and the Red Letter Campaign, the idea seems to be taking action based on the red letters commands of Christ. I have yet to read the book, but from getting the chance to see Tom's blog I understand that this belief has given him a sense of urgency for orphan care. This sense of urgency is slightly different to me than the typical world relief worker who just wants help when it works out for them. Both are very needed and appreciated though. I just differentiate because I rarely see people just get up and go to Africa on a whim unless it is for something greater than good works.

In an age where it is more comfortable to view the Word of God as figurative compared to the traditional understanding of Scripture, the question I ask myself is if I take the word of God literally enough compared to many traditional churches who never had the balls to act upon Scripture as truth.

In case there is any question, I want to clarify that the finger I'm pointing is at myself. I've been blessed enough to obtain many physical assets in my life, and I know it's time to start putting those things to use for people who deserve them. It's a challenging yet very exciting time for me. Feel free to push me further in this direction and call me out in areas where I am weak.

Is this too blunt?

2009-03-10T13:33:00.000-07:00

Some people argue that fundamentalists Christians take the Bible too literally and that makes them exclusivist jerks. I would argue that most fundamentalists don't take the Bible literally enough, and that is why everyone thinks they're jerks. If not one single fundamentalist stored for himself riches and instead lived his life in service of the poor and oppressed, then I don't think anyone could really hate them for what they believe.

In fact, if I'm allowed to define what I mean by the term fundamentalist, then I hope to be one someday; someone who takes action as a result of believing in the literal truth of what Jesus said.

Lambesis Studios

2009-02-16T12:22:00.001-08:00

For those of you interested in checking out the latest happenings at my studio then go see our new blog www.lambesisstudios.blogspot.com. There is a hilarious new post about our friends Sworn Enemy that recently recorded there.

Lust, Pride, and Simplicity

2009-02-09T15:39:00.000-08:00

Lust is clearly tied to pride (and no, this is not the beginning of my new hip-hop lyrics). We/I lust after things we can't have but don't really want them as much as we just want to know we could have them. Actually, I usually want to take it a step further and fully attain what it is my selfish nature desires before I realize that I don't want it.

Everything we obtain in life comes with something attached. The typical saying is that it's impossible to find something good with no strings attached. Unfortunately, that phrase is usually what old business men say and it is rarely used in the context of the three major sins of our selfish nature. The lust of eyes may bring us to find fancy new electronics, but they come with a price tag as well as serious time investment that begins to control our lives. The lust of the flesh may bring me to a buffet, but I can't eat all that food and feel ready to win a speed race directly afterward. And, finally, the pride of life may convince me that I've got some pretty damn good plans for myself before I realize that I would have been happier all along having followed God' will.

You can simply call it consequences if you want to spare yourself the description.

True freedom and joy will arrive when I not only know but also act upon the fact that simplicity and submission of control are more powerful than anything my lust and pride can find.

Long time no post

2009-02-09T14:44:00.001-08:00

Sorry for the delay in posting. Things have been really busy around here between the holidays, recording for the As I Lay Dying DVD, the mini Austrian Death Machine tour, and the current U.S. As I Lay Dying headlining tour. However, you can start expecting a more regular update on this site as well as other websites I am affiliated with. Thank you so much for all of your thought-provoking comments and questions. I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.

good questions & lyric explanations

2008-09-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

I've been keeping in touch with a fan and new friend who always has though provoking questions for me. This time I thought I would share his question and my answer since it's not always easy to know exactly what I'm writing about in lyrics to As I Lay Dying songs.

(((Austin wrote)))
since we are kind of on the subject of As I Lay Dying I always wanted to ask you about one of the new songs... I have been able to get the deeper meanings from all of your songs on all three of the main albums, but one song, actually two songs I have been struggling to understand the exact intention of your writting... sooo the songs are "an ocean between us, and forsaken" if you could just explain to me the main idea behind each of them, that would be sweet man.

(((my response)))
Symbolically, "An Ocean Between Us" is about a person waiting for a ship to come and rescue him. I use that to express the idea that the ship will never come just like the dreams of society that will never bring us fulfillment. We're taught to love certain things and spend our time chasing certain goals, but who cares about that stuff if that's not what you want. In my experiences, the suggestions of the "American dream" or mainstream thinking are very empty. In fact, what I want is far from (or at least should be) those things. There is an seemingly endless ocean of space between us. One practical example is the fact that most top 10 artists want to talk about how powerful they are, how much bling they have, or how many booty shaking ladies are chasing them around. I believe that God is found in the hearts of the weak, poor, oppressed, and those who suffer the injustices brought upon them by others.

That brings me to the song "Forsaken." That song is about those people who we turn our back on and try to pretend like they don't exist. In my case, I was picturing orphans. We turn our backs on them, and while we do so we tend to chase luxuries that will bring us a sense of comfort. Unfortunately, luxuries fail to bring us the feeling of family that even someone else's child would bring us. So, while we've forsaken the poor and oppressed of this world in pursuit of "happiness" we too ended up alone.

Here are the lyrics to these two songs below...

An Ocean Between Us
how many years have we waited
for a ship that never set sail?
and how many days have we wasted
chasing a love that was not our own?
i sat ashore and watched
as one hopeless wave crashed upon another
while my thoughts ran to the highest hills
my heart never reached the sea
with only delusions of an endless journey
i am left with an ocean between you and me

is this your salvation?
is this all you can give?
i will not stand in reflection
of someone else’s dream

the gate to my heart has been weld shut
with the splendor of my aspirations closed in
how many years have we waited
for a ship that never set sail?
and how many days have we wasted
chasing a love that was not our own?

is this your salvation?
is this all you can give?
i will not stand in reflection
of someone else’s dream

Forsaken
i’ve looked straight into your eyes
and turned my head for the last time
because i was scared to leave these walls in ruin
like the fate of those who trust in themselves
we are alone and afraid

i know you are the one we left behind
yet somehow we are the ones who are alone

i will no longer turn my head
i will never forget you
you are the one we left behind
you are the forsaken

we’ve built our confidence
on broken dreams now left for dead
yet we’ve been condemned
to chase these dreams that never end

our selfishness consumes us
until the whole world is not enough
forgive the day that i erased your name
for it’s the memory of me that will decay

i know you are the one we left behind
yet somehow we are the ones who feel alone

I'm not usually too political but...

2008-09-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

A friend sent me this quote below because it's funny but also thought provoking. I'm not saying that I know much about either side of politics right now (because I've been on the road for so long I'm a bit out of touch), but I do agree that there are more ways to serve our country than just going to war. More important than allegiance to one's country is allegiance to God who tells us to love the poor and oppressed regardless of where they live.

Anyway, in an article in Saturday's Globe on how upset community organizers here are over the mocking Sarah Palin comments, it said the following...
They had Tee shirts made saying,
"Jesus was a community organizer;
Pilate was a governor."

Again, I'm not drawing political lines here. I'm just pointing out a funny t-shirt that is also thought provoking. Obviously, being a governor is not wrong. The main point is helping real people in real life apart from legislation is something we can all do.

What's the point...

2008-06-27T22:19:00.000-07:00

Early Christian music seemed to take a simple stance. Worship God in whatever you do. So, when you make music to glorify God, do it with excellence knowing it is being played for our Creator. Ironically, the music never really got the label of being "Christian" and instead was simply considered well written music. If you go back and research the composers of the classical masterpieces, you'll be surprised how many of them were "Christians" but their music was instead labeled as good song writing (Bach, Mozart, etc.).

Later, Christian music may not have changed in its intentions, but the marketing sure was changed. Contemporary Christian artists were advertised as having a message and only sold in Christian bookstores. Because Christian book stores had a certain target market to cater to, it became more important for bands to be obviously Christian in content than to be talented. After all, the buyers were walking into a Christian book store to pay the overpriced and unethically marked-up CD price of $18, so I'm pretty sure the buyers were already doctrinalized by American Christianity.

Now, Christian music in the last 10 years brings in a whole new approach. New Christian bands don't want to be too "preachy" because they don't want their business to be pigeon holed into the Christian market. Instead they cleverly conceal what it is they're really trying to say. Other motivation might be that some of them don't want the listener to feel like the band is pushing too much of an agenda on the listener. I can relate to the second reason because I don't ever want someone to befriend me and later find out I was only nice to them in order to "evangelize." On the other hand, I recognize the message in my writing isn't always obvious, but I don't feel that I am ever purposefully vague about the lyrics I write.

I tend to write from a very personal perspective and focus on the changes I personally need to make before I'll ever feel comfortable pointing the finger. There is a clear message that I am writing to myself and every time I sing a song live (we tour about 250 days a year or more) I am reminded of many of these lyrical ideas. Themes like forgiveness pops up in my lyrics often because I tend to forget that I fail when relying on my own strength. In this way I recognize God, but I would argue that I do so in a different way compared to many bands throughout the history of Christian music.

Part of the reason I've always been hesitant to be involved combining the terms music and Christian comes down to the hypocrisy and shame I feel being part of that group. The other part is that I've always been concerned our fans will think we only appreciate them because I have an agenda to teach "proper doctrine." I'm not trying to sell God and therefore I hope our fans buy our CD to hear music and come to a concert to feel it live. Additionally, there is no use in telling somebody about something that they're not interested in anyway. I can honestly say that I would be speaking in churches and touring as a preacher if I only wanted to spread a message. The fact is, I love playing music. But, I will never be able to separate what is most important to me personally from the music that I help write. My belief in Jesus as the One risen God is most important to me and overflows into the way I view everything including song writing.

For the first time since our band began, I feel comfortable saying there is a point. I want to write music to the best of my ability like the earliest Christian composers did, yet I hope to share my struggles and the ways we've learned to overcome along the way. I want to take what our successes have given me and share it with the poor in heart, but I recognize that in all my failures I might have more to gain from them than they do from me. I do not stand at a distance trying to teach, but I hope that I have something more to offer than vaguely positive sentiments.

Regardling the blog before this one...

2008-06-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for your replies to this. There are many comments that made me think even further about the issues and brought some new issues up as well.

One thing that seems misunderstood though...

I'm not trying to say that Jesus is literally homeless now, although he clearly was for huge portions of his life on earth. I believe firmly in His resurrection and that He is at the right hand of the Father. The point I'm trying to make is that Jesus doesn't want to live in expensive building with fancy architecture. In fact, if He were on earth again I think it is clear from reading the gospels that He would rather live with the homeless on our streets. That is all somewhat off the topic though because Christ is most alive and at home in our hearts. That's why we need to take action and live lives proving that.

The main point I was going after on the Jesus being homeless point is that it is the poor and the oppressed that He seemed to pay attention to the most in the gospel records. The most important point of all is that we can love Christ by loving those who are homeless and outcasted by our society. "Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me."

Feel free to add to the list...

2008-05-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

I believe that human heart is selfish beyond all things, so most of the evil happening among the 6.5 billion of us comes down to that. On the other hand, I do think there are some misconceptions about what is spiritually "good" and what is "bad." I thought a "which one is more true" type phrasing might be a good way to point out stereotypes and reveal greater truths. Please add to the list if you want to. Of course, by saying that I'm opening things up to opinions that all of can't be right. But, I'll be the first to admit my opinions have been wrong on many occasions. I feel pretty comfortable sticking to my stance on these three subjects below though.

Which one is more true....

Satan would probably have a pitchfork and horns
or
Satan would probably drive a luxury car

Jesus now resides in the only place where His glory can be found, and that is in beautiful cathedrals made from millions of dollars in the middle of downtowns and inner cities that are decaying around it
or
Jesus was in His day (and probably still is) homeless

Satan personally kills people so that everyone can see his evil and turn away from it
or
Satan tries to convince certain humans that they're killing thousands of people for good reasons and should keep doing it... Loyalty, courage, "justice," patriotism, etc.

I don't need friends who say they love Jesus.

2008-05-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

I don't need friends who say they love Jesus. After touring for the last seven years with a number of "Christian" bands, I've realized the only friends that will challenge me to change are the ones who actually want to follow what Jesus taught. Yes those friends "love" him too, but that is not where it stops.

Most conversations about religion (or anything thought provoking for that matter) seem to end as soon as things move beneath the surface. Of course everyone who says they're a "Christian" is OK discussing the comfortably vague ideas about faith. But beyond that, I usually either find that the conversation stops entirely, or I end up getting the "I wish I was somewhere else" glaze in the eyes of my companions. More specifically I'm referring to topics that were closest to heart of Jesus. Topics like poverty, the way we treat our enemies, and giving up what holds us back from truly being free (typically material possessions in our society).

What I'm really trying to get at is that I'd love to talk about the issues like this more often, but it seems unrealistic most of the time. Until I find people who care to get into this stuff with me, I need to get more disciplined to be reading more. Unfortunately, it seems like reading may be the only option for some of us since finding people to discuss this with may not be realistic.

Lastly, I realize this sounds very pessimistic so I want to make sure all of my real friends know how much I appreciate them. Additionally, there are many people who challenge me that I've never even met in person but respond to this blog or have their own blog. I thank you all as well for pushing me to think deeper on issues closest to the heart of God.

We all have faith...

2008-03-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

We are constantly being "educated" by the society and powers in which we live whether it be formal education or alternative means of control like media and mass marketing. If we simply sit back, then we will be told what is of value and what to believe. The only counter to this is to fight fire with fire. We are told what to eat, so we must educate ourselves again beyond the standard if we want to eat foods that are of worth to our bodies. We are told what products will make us happy, so we must re-educate ourselves to find joy in simplicity.

If re-education is important in these areas of life, then how much more vital is it that we are continuously educated in matters of faith if we are to live in truth? Education in these matters is not something we should learn once as impressionable children. For, by the example of the powers around us, it has been proven time and again that "truth" is easily sold using marketing and repetition. How much more important is it that true education and the search for unbiased truth be as constant as the socialized manipulation we fight against? For we all have faith, but unfortunately many of us, without even realizing it, believe and follow a system that won't allow us to call it that. Faith in the norm is still faith.

We live in a world where the peaceful and beautiful Savior of the oppressed has clearly become a minority. (Although, I would argue that the true non-empire driven Christ has always been a minority.) This person and view is not only a minority in a matter of numbers but also a minority of importance... even amongst Christians. This leaves Christ's followers plenty of work to do within our own lives. But, for those who choose to believe another point of view and not call it faith, I conclude that they don't even know their minds from their stomachs. I hold respect for many who believe, based on their own research, theories that I reject so long as they admit it to be based on faith as well. For all of us have had to weigh the evidences and decide for ourselves where we will put this faith that we all must live with. Unfortunately, society has created a situation where many don't even know that the evidence has already been judged for us. This is how we are lead to "believe" that there is no need for "faith" in the theories we accept as truth.

Admirer or Disciple

2008-03-15T11:17:00.000-07:00

I read a couple sentences today that challenged me more than some entire books that I've read. A church leader from the 1950s named Clarence Jordan explained to his brother what he thought of people who were unwilling to follow Jesus at all costs regardless of what society thought. Here is the conversation with his politician brother who said he will "follow [Jesus] to the cross, but not on the cross", because "I'm not getting myself crucified."

Clarence replied, "Then I don't think you're a disciple. You're an admirer of Jesus, but not a disciple of his. I think you ought to go back to the church you belong to, and tell them you're an admirer not a disciple."

"Well now, if everyone who felt like I do did that, we wouldn't have a church, would we?"

"The question is, Do you have a church?"

This challenges me in many ways, but the challenge starts with me asking myself whether or I am an admirer or an actual disciple. In theory it's pretty easy for me to say that I'm a disciple of Jesus, but that is kind of like telling someone you love them without really showing it. All of the people that I love the most are shown love by the way I act and treat them. So, they know it before I even say it. Likewise, Jesus should know I am His disciple by the dedication I live out daily as well as steadfast dedication in tough situations.

With this said, I have to admit that sometimes I choose the comfortable route of being an admirer. It's much easier for me to watch real Christianity from afar.

The second challenge comes down to the community that I live in. Am I involved with a real church of disciples, or is it a casual collection of admirers trading feel good ideas while leaving out the better half of the gospel? My honest answer is that some of the "Christians" whom I meet with are much more of a disciple at times than I am, and therefore, they are both able to properly represent Christianity to others as well as help me grow. On the other hand, the majority of so called "Christians" misrepresent our beautiful creator and savior by simply being admirers who get to pick and choose how much of the gospel applies to them.

The point is really driven home when I think about the connection between disciple and student compared to admirer or spectator. As a current student, I know that assignments are not optional. But, I remember taking a philosophy class years back where a friend of the teachers would come in from time to time just to sit in and catch the general vibe.

So, knowing all sides of this issue, Jesus is asking us whether we are his students or spectators. Are we disciples or admirers? The trick is, I challenge both myself and anyone who reads this not to answer the question right now. Let's wait a few months and ask the very person we are following what He thinks based on the way we've been living.

Isn't NOW in all caps (and with a sense of urgency) usually associated with the cheesy top 10 Christian hits CD at your local Christian bookstore?

2008-03-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

I believe in God's perfection and I'm greatly comforted by the hope that we will one day be in communion with Him like He originally designed. However, I used to just wait for heaven like it was the only form of comfort I will ever find. Being restored to the presence of God is truly what we were designed for, and therefore, the only everlasting comfort. But, Jesus makes is clear that we live in His kingdom now and not just after we die.

In my opinion, a good translation of kingdom for people in our day to understand is "a place where we have the ability to live as God originally designed." So, whenever you read the word kingdom from here in, please remember that is how I am using it.

We can live with Christ now even though our bodies still exist in a fallen world. This is an in between time where we are the only examples of what it is like to live in God's kingdom. And, since our world is consumed with materialism, we must bridge the gap between the spiritual kingdom now and the kingdom that will one day come. Most specifically, this means we need to create a model of what it's like to live by God's design. Unfortunately, I fail pretty often when it comes to showing a model of what God wills for us in heaven.

Only those who know Christ's true desires and design for His disciples can really say they are living in "the kingdom" NOW. And, anyone who knows the love of Christ should know that He cared deeply for the poor and the oppressed. I bring this up as my first example of living within God's kingdom now because I see very few churches who put as much of an emphasis on this as God has put throughout the Bible. There are plenty of churches that advocate sobriety, but there is in fact much more written on the topic of taking care of the poor amongst our society. But, before I move on it is important that I admit how I fail to show love in my personal life in so many ways beyond taking care of the poor. I'm not strictly trying to point the finger.

Both sobriety and love for the poor are great examples of the way God desires to restore us into the life He planned for us, but there are many other simple ways we need to live as well. Overall, God desires that all people in his kingdom not just know about but also experience his love. Most of us have more than enough resources to comfortably feel false love from what we've accumulated and we don't need God's love, but a kingdom implies that there is more than one citizen. If we desire to live in God's kingdom now, then we need there to at least be small community in that kingdom for it to qualify. If there is a community of people than we can't just take care of ourselves and live as God planned.

Most specifically, the poor are the ones not "feeling the love" of God in His current kingdom. Those of us comforted by our resources, including myself, should abandon the comfort of material things for two GREAT reasons. The first is for our own sake in that we will never feel God's love so long as we are comforted and "loved" so much by the material world. Secondly, the abandonment of these comforts is the only way to take care of those God loves and has chosen to include in His kingdom NOW. Now meaning on this earth before we die.

It is easy for people to talk in theory about the fact that God has chosen the weak things and weak people of this world to be His. In theory, this principle mainly applies to distant people that we will someday meet in heaven, but it has no urgency to take care of these people who God has chosen to love NOW.

There a couple questions I thought of that really make me think.

Who is crazier... the Christians that start "communes" so they can better distribute their resources where there is need, or the countless millions of other Christians that attend beautiful church buildings that attract seeker sensitive people to only hear 1/2 of what God is like?

Jesus was surely very sensitive to the suffering of people, but was he sensitive to the money changer who wanted more rich people to attend church?

Perception, true friends, and serving one another

2008-02-18T10:56:00.000-08:00

It's funny to watch bands grow. We're are just normal guys in their early twenties who still suffer from social awkwardness and personality quirks that stem from spending the last five years playing guitar or drums on friday night while living with their mom and dad.

Now, as these bands get bigger, we have to start playing the role of someone who is respected every time they walk into a room. Most of us musicians are just trying to avoid looking stupid by verifying the perception that everyone else has. I guess it would be a let down to meet someone who full of radiance in press photos but just stands with humble slouch when you meet them in person.

The funniest part to me is running into the guys I've known before the rest of the world perceived them as rockers. They are obviously still the same guys I played shows with in the basement and house show days, but they've become so used to walking into a room and playing into the perception that they start to do it out of habit. It's hilarious when they start doing it to me because they usually don't even realize they're doing it. Or maybe there is an unsaid rule that if a band has sold 100,000 records since the last time you saw them, then they've actually became a stronger super human and it has nothing to do with perception. Therefore, all band members should be feared and admired, even by the people who know that five years ago they worked in a furniture store. And of course, I'll never just point the finger because that's me. I used to work in furniture store warehouse, and I lived with my parents even after I turned 21.

I'm not sure if I can do it anymore. You know, walk into a room of people I've known for 10 years and pretend that I've somehow become the validated opinion that everyone should listen to. I remember the first time someone asked me for an autograph. It was playing in El Paso, TX in a tiny cafe no less. I felt so torn because I didn't want this person to think I was any better than they were. But, they'd had already asked me for my autograph, so they obviously thought so. In efforts to justify it in my own mind, I put the reference of my favorite bible verse underneath my signature hoping they would later look up the verse and find true admiration in a Person who serves others.

Now I just sign my name when someone asks me for an autograph. Does that mean I've lost my conviction or that I'm starting to like the idea of people thinking I'm better than the average person?

Here is the best example I can give for you to see my perspective. Take a friend that you've hung out with since you were 10. You respect him or her but in the sense of true love and not necessarily admiration. It is easy to give this respect because your friend never demands it. This is a friends who just wants to share their life with you and the motive is nothing more than that.

Now, imagine your friend wins an award for something that really doesn't matter in the publics opinion. Unfortunately, the best example of something that our society wouldn't care about is a reading competition. No one would really give more respect or admiration to the person who read the most books in 2008. While it is widely accepted that your friend is no better off socially than anyone else, it would be ridiculous if he or she walked into your local bar and tried to pretend like they were the next big thing. I can picture "the ultimate book reader" so proud of the 300 books they read and wanting to make sure everyone else recognizes it.

The irony is that someone who read 300 books even in lifetime would naturally have tons of perspective and insight. If you had to view someone's opinion as more valid than the rest of ours, then this person would be much more worth listening to than the guy who sold 300,000 records. Although, whether it's 300 books read or 300,000 records sold, we're all no different that the rich jerk who walks into a restaurant and flashes his or her big wallet to receive better service. It's cliche to say it, but power corrupts.

I love being reminded of the days when I thought the servant hearted person was the guy worth being friends with. I guess the toughest part of being perceived as a "successful" musician is that people don't want me to serve them. Therefore, there are very people that I can ever truly be friends with. My true friends remain the ones who knew me before the big numbers and grammy nominations ever happened. While they are the ones that serve me from time to time, it is truly my joy to serve them.

Before I move on to another topic...

2008-02-11T10:16:00.000-08:00

Before I move onto another topic I thought I'd list a little bit of an "I told you so" about the Grammys. MTV's Headbangers Blog definitely agreed with me if you read their article which is very well done HERE.

Now that the award has been given, I'm definitely not writing this to say that we deserved the Grammy. I think that Machine Head wrote one of the best songs in their entire catalogue, but even that is beside the point. What I want to point out is how absolutely out of touch the members of the Grammy board are! Slayer won the award to for an album the recorded in 2006 but re-released in 2007. I'd be willing to bet that most members of the Grammy board didn't even know that, because, if they did, then the album shouldn't have even been eligible. The members most likely just looked at the ballot and just voted for the only name they recognized.

I want people to know this info so that they will hopefully agree with me on the greater point. And, that is, we should never decide or even agree on what is "good" based on the opinion of other people. I might even go as far as to say that award ceremonies in general should be taken with a grain of salt. But, anyone who even remotely likes metal can see how the Grammys had a completely invalid opinion this year. I actually think Slayer is excellent at what they do, so this has nothing to do with their talent. The Headbangers Blog actually makes this point better than I do. Who cares what the Grammys think, especially when the winning award for 2007 goes to a song from 2006 because the members are too lazy to take time to listen to new music.

p.s. here are a few bands I think are great that never won a Grammy... MINDBLOWING!

Led Zeppelin
The Doors
The Who
Queen
Buddy Holly
Tupac (not kidding)
Backstreet Boys (totally kidding)

Why I'm not going to the Grammys

2008-01-13T14:38:00.000-08:00

Ever since we were nominated for a Grammy, I've been torn between the feeling of honor and something else that has been hard for me to describe. Initially, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Who would have thought that our band would ever get noticed like this? But, I soon realized that most of this feeling came from the great sense of pride I was able to bring my parents, our record label, our manager, and the countless other people who have invested so much of their passion into As I Lay Dying. People who I believe deserve this honor as much as I do.

Then I started asking the question why us, why As I Lay Dying? I've never felt that the Grammys go out of their way to nominate bands that are actually the best at what they do. I think there have been only one or two of my favorite bands that have ever even received a Grammy. Obviously everyone differs in their taste in music, but I realize that I shouldn't care what a small group of people think about my band, good or bad. Why should we let anyone dictate to the rest of us which bands we should and shouldn't listen to? And, why is there opinion any better than yours or mine? The awards that truly mean something to me are the ones voted by the fans and actual music buyers. The people that support and keep new music going.

So, a few weeks go by with me battling this question in my head when I find out that as a nominated "guest of honor" I am not able to have even my wife come with me unless I pay $600 for her seat. I know that someone has to help pay for the ceremony, but even a nominated artist trying to bring his better half!? This is when I first started thinking the Grammys might not be for me. Later, I also learn that our label, management and parents can't go unless they pay $300 for seats that are nowhere near where we sit. Basically, all the people that deserve to enjoy this "special" moment along with the band are unable to do so. Our record label has always been the one at the forefront of great business and marketing decisions that help bring the band to a new level of notoriety. Likewise, our managers have helped to steer us in the right direction ever since we started working with them a few years back. Then there's our lawyer, booking agent, and countless others I could name that have played significant roles in getting us to this point. And, going to the very beginning, my parents deserve so much credit for helping me pursue my dream when no one else could see it. Now, not only is some out of touch elite committee telling us what they think good music should be, but then they try to make the artists they nominate pay a ridiculous amount for the event that we can't even enjoy with all the people that really made this possible.

I think the Grammy ceremony exists to honor the Grammy brand itself and not the actual artists who most people think they are supporting by attending. The Grammys might need to charge for the $300 guest's seats, but in my opinion, I highly doubt they need to exploit the artists they nominate for the one $600 seat for spouses in order to pay for the production of the event. This is because I highly doubt the Grammys are just struggling to break even. If there is profit being made, we are paying for it even though it's the artists who create the public's interest in the event. Plus, metal is the category that gets the least attention, so not only are we being left out, but we're still asked to pay for the glamour used to represent all of the other categories.

Wouldn't it make more sense to invest this money in the future of music by giving it to talented bands who can't afford to record their music or go on tour? The cost of a ticket and fancy dress for someone attending costs more than the entire budget of our first full length recording. I also want to be clear that I in no way am attempting to hold my view as the only way to see this. In fact the other dudes in my band all plan to go and I sincerely hope they enjoy themselves. I also want to be clear that I am not professing to know exactly what the Grammy Society plans to do with all that money....it's certainly possible that they do some good things with it, and if good reasons exist for them charging all of this money then I will be happy to change my point of view and post the Grammy's response in this blog. Until then, I feel that it would be irresponsible for me to just blindly follow what is accepted as the norm in this situation. I was raised to always question my beliefs and the beliefs of others...to question what society considers the norm. I always try to formulate my own opinions and do what I think is right based on the situation. I may not always end up doing the perfect thing in every situation, but as long as I learn from my mistakes and keep the best intentions I can feel good about the decisions I make in life.

Anyway, now that I've made my decision, I'd have to say that I'm also kind of relieved that I don't have to figure out how to dress up like an awkward dude in a suit. I've also decided to put my money where my mouth is and donate the $600 that we would have spent on my wife's ticket to local San Diegans who normally couldn't afford the opportunity to create new music... people who are in in the same position we were in several years back. To me that's turning a negative into a positive.

I welcome the opinions of anyone who is reading this. It's my intention to initiate dialogue and I think it is very important for my side of this issue to be represented. Most of the time, we just go along with things because they are perceived as good and comfortable, but I want people to know how the situation appears to me. Thanks for listening.

Also, here's a link to Nick's blog if you want to check out a well presented case on why he's going to go. This isn't for the sake of comparing the two of us, since I'm married and he is not as well as other differences, but I think Nick intelligently represents the other side. Unfortunately, rarely do people who go to the Grammys, or any other event like it, take the time to think things through this well. For this reason I really respect Nick's point of view.

http://ragingcluegoo.blogspot.com/